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Kenny Powers quotes from 3 of Season 1 (16 quotes)
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Smashing a brick through a dude's window is nothing compared to the things I've done. I've killed people.
— Kenny Powers 
Oh, well excuse me for being a fucking businessman, Dustin. Maybe you could learn something instead of just criticizing. Or, you know what? Just stay good at what you're doing, which is, I guess, being poor.
— Kenny Powers 
Look at that. Do you see that? That's where my dick goes through.
— Kenny Powers 
I've been blessed with many things in this life: an arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist.
— Kenny Powers 
People often ask me, 'Kenny, what are your weaknesses? Do you have any?' I would say that my biggest flaw, my achilles heel, is my tireless work ethic.
— Kenny Powers 
People say Kenny Powers is a woman hater. That's not true. I love women. Every fucking one of them, even the ugly as shit ones. But don't ask me to trust 'em. Not even nuns, because every pair of tits comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can't fill.
— Kenny Powers 
I never got into the Native American mythology. You can smoke the peace pipe till your dick falls off, but I'm not dancin with any wolves no matter how high I get. Not that I get high, but if i did my shit would still believe in our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
— Kenny Powers 
If there's one thing I hate it's losing. If there's two things I hate it it's losing and getting cancer.
— Kenny Powers 
Yeah, nice job making three bucks a week, you dipshit. Sell weed, you'll make more money.
— Kenny Powers 
Besides getting shot in the back of the head, do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school. I'm not making that up.
— Kenny Powers 
Alright fine. We'll lower the price of the bat, but I'm not going to budge on the baby pillow. Anyone who wouldn't pay that price is a fucking idiot. It's a goddamn steal.
— Kenny Powers 
Yeah, I'm pretty much re-engineering man's approach to pitching, if you want to get down to brass tacks.
— Kenny Powers 
Ask anybody out there, and they'll tell you that the foundation of a great baseball player starts with an understanding of some basic fundamentals. Running, stretching, physical conditioning. These are the things that prepare your body for the many challenges a baseball player faces. I heard that bullshit thrown at me all my damn life. You know what Kenny Powers says? Fundamentals are the crutch for the talentless.
— Kenny Powers 
This one coach tried to put me on a weight training program, and I was all like, 'You and your weights can fuck off somewhere. I'm not lifting that shit. It's heavy. You tell me why I need strength training when I'm strong enough to throw a goddamn 100 mile per hour pitch? Fuck that.
— Kenny Powers 
See, in life, when you have talent all the other shit doesn't matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent.
— Kenny Powers 
You can train all you want. You can work on your catchin' and your throwin' and your runnin'. Hell, it might even be enough to get you into the majors. But, in order to be a standout, and all-star, a champion, you need more than hard work and dedication. You need something that you can't work for. You need a blessing from God Almighty.
— Kenny Powers